I ask you, “How do you accept yourself when you do not know how ”?
I know that it is extremely easy to become lazy and make excuses to stay as we are. Let’s face it. Move the curtain. Some of us absolutely hate ourselves. We walk thru life with self-hatred burning straight to the core, believing that we are incompetent. Believing that we have no value. No worth for love. How do you change this negative thought pattern? Well, from a personal view, it starts with complete transparency and acceptance. Flaws and all. Face the stranger in the mirror but more importantly have compassion for yourself.
Let’s start with, it hurts. I mean physically hurt. Dwelling on past mistakes and the struggle of every day failures becomes a struggle of judgment. The anxiety of denying any problems at all literally causes me and the ones that I care about pain. At one-point self-acceptance felt insurmountable. It twisted and turned inside my chest like an animal eating at my lungs and squeezing on my heart. It sucked.
Where do you start? Accept that change will not happen overnight. This process has been long as hell for me! I hope your journey will be shorter than mine. So, I suggest starting with acknowledging your struggle instead of denying or ignoring them. Baby steps is still moving forward.
Where does self-acceptance come from? Again, this has been a journey. An everyday, sometimes every minute journey. I am sorry to tell you there is no finish line ;however, you will continue to grow every day as long as you put in the effort. So, suck it up buttercup, you have to accept that you aren’t perfect.
Six years ago, I remember looking in the mirror, crying, feeling disconnected, lost, wishing for death. Six years later, I am writing this blog and still reminding myself that I am not perfect and I am working one day at a time toward a better me.
I do not believe that there is one clear path and answer that I can give to you but I do know that in order to grow, you must fully expose yourself. It will be a true self-awakening and it will hurt. However, you must step into yourself just as you are. Accept your past. Accept your mistakes. Accept your flaws. Accept that change is needed, then take action. Acknowledge your strengths, vulnerabilities, and limitations. You are going to be scared but do it anyway. One. Day. At. A. Time. You cannot just sit back, accept your flaws and do nothing about them. Doing nothing does not contribute to real progress and growth.
For me, being exposed to my own self-acceptance means that I must be willing to make the choice to stay awake when I make a mistake. I literally have to close my mouth and open my ears, without attempting to protest. This action alone is difficult.
The most difficult battle that I have ever fought was between what I choose to see and what was actually taking place. Truly knowing yourself affords you the possibility to grow. Self-acceptance means choosing to be awake, see the failures, acknowledge and accept where you currently are, and then take action for improvement.
Improvement requires you to have the compassion not to compare yourself to anyone else. This will give you spiritual empowerment. Pay attention to your thoughts and what you choose to become self-talk. Pay attention to your behavior. Learn what things can not be changed, and accept those.
At the end of the day remember,-Mark Twain
“A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.”
-I Am Katrina.